Thursday 19 September 2013

FINDING MYSELF IN TEACHING

On: Becoming a Heartfelt Educator
By Amanda Merpaw
Teacher Candidate, Year II
Master of Teaching Program (MT)
OISE, University of Toronto


"The more I walk through those green double doors on Gristmill Lane, the more I feel at home.  I've been reminded that I don’t have to compromise who I am to be a teacher".  
                                                         Amanda 

     I just finished a phone conversation with my mom.  Before hanging up, she reminded me that we always end up where we are meant to be. She was referring to my current student teaching placement at Voice Intermediate School and, as moms often are, she was right.

A few months ago, at the end of my first year in the Master of Teaching (MT) program at OISE/University of Toronto, I was questioning my place in education.  I knew, as I have always known, that I wanted to be a teacher. I knew that my decision to leave academia to pursue teaching was still the right decision. But I couldn’t figure out exactly where I belonged.  I had experience teaching at a university and in various public schools, yet I never felt the spark of connection; I never saw myself reflected back at me in a school’s mission, practices, staff, and students.  You see, I believe in the principles of global education, critical pedagogy, and social justice. I believe that teachers should engage students in thinking critically about the world, as well as empower students to have the agency to intervene in the world. I believe that schools should engage the whole child in all his or her emotional, social, and academic intelligences.  I believe that students, teachers, and administrators should respect each other, support each other; and, ultimately, inspire each other. Where was the school based in these values? I began to lose hope that this existed other than in my dreams.

Then came Voice Intermediate School.  When I first started the Master of Teaching program at OISE, I requested a placement at VIS. I knew its global education philosophy mirrored my own pedagogical beliefs and I was interested in its infusion of the arts across the curriculum.  Suffice to say I was thrilled when my placement coordinator contacted me this past summer to let me know I would be teaching at VOICE in the fall of 2013.  But even my excitement couldn’t have prepared me for the sense of belonging I have felt in the time I’ve spent there.  Indeed, the more I walk through those green double doors on Gristmill Lane, the more I feel at home. 

On a typical day at VIS, I see students and teachers participating in lively, intelligent discussions and debates.  I hear laughter and music echoing down the hallways.  I witness collaboration, community-building, and critical thinking. I see VIS teachers educating for the mind, the heart, and the conscience. I watch Cathie Webb Gillespie, my superstar associate teacher, bringing history to life through theatre. I notice Vice-Principal Pam MacIsaac with camera in hand, happily soaking it all in and trying to capture the magic of VIS. I find Principal and Founder Marie Lardino sitting in on lessons, checking in with teachers and students, acknowledging that what was once just a dream is now an amazing reality. And me? On a typical day at VIS, I can’t stop smiling because -- finally! -- I recognize my philosophy and values in a school. I feel at home. 

Dear VIS,
     In a few short weeks, I've been reminded that I don’t have to compromise who I am to be a teacher.  I've been shown that the most productive learning happens when students and staff expect each other to show up each day as their best, most real, most authentic self. You’ve shown me that it’s okay for that self to have a bad day and to make mistakes -- that the best educational community offers support and understanding in those challenging moments. I now see how fulfilling it is to be part of a school infused with relevance, where students and staff strive to better themselves, improve their community, and create change in their world and the world at large. I look forward to continuing to get to know you VIS, and to being inspired by you as the year progresses and perhaps, if I am lucky, in the years to come. 



Amanda Merpaw was hired on contract as a full-time teacher at VIS. She teaches core French to students in grades 4-8, and English and Philosophy (Gr. 8). 

Marie Lardino